Houston Professional Matchmaking Service Helps You Stop Making Comparisons in Dating

Houston Singles Okay, it all starts again.  It’s the end of the 4th date, but you are already positive in your mind that things aren’t going to work out.  Sure, he seems like a great guy, the two of you have a lot in common, and you have no problem talking to him about anything.  He is funny, he’s very attractive, and he’s career-oriented, which shows you he’s motivated and has passions in life.  But there is something bothering you.  There’s a linger feeling that is brewing just below the surface.  You try hard to suppress it, but it keeps coming back harder.

You can’t stop comparing this person to your ex-boyfriend.  All your ex’s little quirks, all the things the two of you did together, and all the memories are in your mind when you are out with this new guy.  If only you could recreate your past relationship with this new man.

Ladies, it’s time to realize and come to terms with the fact that you can never achieve that.  And you wouldn’t want to do it either.  Today, our Houston professional matchmaking team will show you why.

Does This Mean I Have Not Gotten Over My Ex-Boyfriend?

It is common to take your thoughts of your past relationship as a sign you are not over your ex.  You might even think about giving your relationship another go, but in reality, this doesn’t mean you’re not over them.

It is completely normal to compare your new date to your ex because your brain will automatically do the comparisons for you.  Your brain does this in order to help you understand all the things that are happening in front of you.  This is why you instantly recall your first date with your ex-boyfriend and everything that happened.  It’s your brain telling you, “I have already experienced this before.”  But this isn’t a sign you need to get back with your ex and give them another chance.  It’s your brain’s natural functions.

There’s a Reason Why the Relationship Came to an End

The number one thing you need to remember is that there was an important reason the relationship did not succeed.  It could have been one or twenty different reasons.  For example, you might have arrived at the breaking point in all your relationships.  You decided it would be less painful to end the relationship with him than to continue it for one more day.  If this is the case, you need to start trusting yourself and your decision because you did the right thing when it needed to be done.

Perhaps the two of you were in a happy relationship but there were other problems that got in the middle of it.  For example, there might have been problems with the distance that separated you.  One of you lived in a different part of the city and did not want to move to be closer.  Even if the breakup was amicable, you could never make it work.  It was not worth it for you.  Whatever the issue was, you could not fix it.

It is easy to look back at the happy times of the relationship and forget why the relationship did not work out.  Believe it or not, your brain tends to do that.  Our brains seem to recall happy times more than bad memories.  This is why you only remember the happy times together.

The Only Time You Can Get Back with Them

The only reason you should ever get back with an ex is if all the circumstances have now changed.  For example, it’s reasonable to consider giving them another chance if they would move closer to you or even move in together to be with you.  However, people don’t change as easily as home addresses.  Chances are that if your ex had a problem before, they’re going to have it again and again.

No Date Can Ever Compare to Any Relationship

Besides the first dates you have gone out on with this man, you don’t have any other experiences with him.  But that’s not true of your ex.  With him, you have hundreds of memories together like the last time he took you on a weekend getaway to the Bahamas, the last time you got lost going to the beach, or even those nights you ordered Chinese food and watched movies at home until late in the night.

Yes, you will not be able to give a fair comparison between your ex and your new date no matter how hard you try to do it.  There is no way you can remember how you felt on your 3rd date with your ex.  It isn’t possible to isolate that memory from all the other memories you shared together.  You can very well start making new memories with this new man, but if you write him off too soon, you’ll never get a chance to do it.

How to Get Over It: Practice… & Practice More

This still might not change your constant comparisons in your mind.  The only way to stop comparing your new dates to your ex-boyfriend is by reminding yourself of all the things our Houston professional matchmaking team has mentioned every time you catch yourself making a comparison.  Believe us that over time, things will get a lot easier.  Get out there, start meeting new men, and create new memories instead of looking back on old ones.  If you’re single and looking for that special someone, our professional matchmakers have exactly what you’re looking for.

Remember: You Choose What You Focus on

Remember that at the end of the day, you are the person in charge of controlling your mind.  Whenever you feel like your mind is making a comparison, snap out of it.  Remember that no one will ever be like your ex, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  Give the new man you’re going out with a chance, a chance to get to know him for the person he is.  For all you know, you could be sitting in front of the man who you spend the rest of your life with.

If you’re ready to start dating successfully, contact our Houston matchmaking experts today and let us be the ones to help you.

 

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