Houston Matchmakers Will Teach You How to Date after Your Divorce
Have you recently gotten a divorce? If so, our professional matchmaking team here at Houston Singles Matchmaking Service will share an insightful dating guide to help you get back on your feet in no time.
Getting back into the dating scene after a divorce can be a huge step. Whether you were the one who called it quits or not, we know moving on from a marriage and separating from a person you once loved can be difficult.
That being said, divorce doesn’t symbolize the end of your life. As cheesy as it might sound, our Houston matchmakers know it’s the complete opposite, and we want you to embrace this new change. But of course there are many things to consider when moving on after a divorce, and the most important being that you should never jump into a new relationship.
Also, if there are children in the picture, there are other issues that will certainly surface. Our professional matchmakers want you to understand that divorce doesn’t mean the end; it’s a new beginning, something you should be grateful for. You will learn new things about yourself and your life, and now that you are a little bit older, and much wiser, this time you will know exactly what you want in a partner and relationship.
So brush your shoulders off and let’s get ready for this fun, new chapter ahead. Most importantly, we want you to remember to be positive. Of course, we know this is easier said than done, but let our expert matchmakers here at Houston Singles share their expert insight on how to properly date after a divorce.
1. Get to Know Yourself Again
Being with someone for a long period of time can change the person you are. You have adapted to their way of living, and despite denying it, you know you have.
Our Houston matchmakers want you to take this time to get to know yourself before you jump into the dating scene or into a new relationship. After a painful divorce, many people lose sight of who they are as a person, especially when they’ve been married 10+ years.
It’s inevitable. You might have forgotten how to define yourself outside of the relationship, but you must figure out who you are and what makes you happy again. Make sure you try to reconnect with the things who made you the person you were before. Post-divorce dating isn’t simply rushing back into the dating scene again or trying to force yourself to get over the breakup by dulling the pain with a new love interest. Take time to get to know yourself as a person and you will be more fulfilled in your next relationship.
2. Rebuild Your Confidence
After any breakup, it’s quite likely your confidence will take a hit, so when it’s a divorce, that hit is even greater, meaning the effects can be catastrophic. Our expert matchmakers want you to understand that this won’t last forever; however, it’s totally up to you to get your strength back.
Your confidence will get taken down a few notches once your marriage comes to an end, and it happens to just about everyone. We suggest you write out a list of all your achievements, accomplishments, great experiences, the wonderful qualities you possess, and why you deserve to be loved. Trust us, you will not end up on the TV show of animal hoarders with 20 cats in your house. Just grab a bottle of wine and really examine all the wonderful aspects about yourself and your life. Before you know it, the pain of your divorce will be over and you’ll be ready to tackle the dating world head on. Remind yourself that you’re worthy and that you will eventually find love again.
3. Think about the Children
Any situation takes on a whole different scenario when there are children in the picture. As you may already know, dating after a divorce with children involved is completely different. Our professional matchmakers always suggest anyone who is dating post-divorce put their children first. Your children should be your number one priority.
Often times in divorces, there are children in the picture, and whether they’re young or old, they have a huge impact on how dating is handled. Either way, it’s important you always put them first.
Your children might not be comfortable with the idea of you dating someone other than their father or mother. Or, on the other hand, they might not want you to be unhappy and may want you to start dating so you can find love again. Every child is different, and you need to handle the situation with your child accordingly. Be honest and open with them about your dating. Now, this doesn’t mean you should tell them all the details, but don’t hide the fact that you’re going to be going out with new people.
4. Put the Past Where it Belongs
Living in the past is never advised. Accept the fact that the future is going to bring many more things for you. Although it can be tempting to constantly compare your new love interest to your ex-spouse, this won’t help you at all. Actually, it’s a cardinal dating sin. Accept that they a different person, someone new you’re dating now, someone completely different from your ex.
While many people think it’s best to get under someone in order to get over someone old, our Houston matchmakers don’t believe this theory could ever work. If you’re struggling with your loneliness and new single status, we suggest you seek professional help rather than sleeping with someone to fill the void.
Putting the past behind you doesn’t have to be a hate fest; just look at your divorce as a lesson learned. And please do not be consumed with bitterness as it will show when you are dating. That is how you get over a divorce.
5. Have an Open-Mind
On the same note of trying not to look back on the past, you also want to have an open-mind. It can be very difficult for people who have just come out of a divorce to picture themselves with anyone other than their ex. Our expert matchmakers don’t want you to narrow your options by only looking for a duplicate of your ex-wife or ex-husband. Have an open-mind and try broadening your horizons. Yes, we know you have a type, but guess what? Your type did not work out the first time, so why not step outside your comfort zone the second time around? After all, you never know what dating outside of your comfort zone can do for you. We hope you don’t want to make the same mistake again.
If you’re struggling to date after your divorce, contact our matchmaking professionals here at Houston Singles Matchmaking Service and let us help you. Let us give you the guidance and support you need to be successful in the dating world.
You might also be interested in: